The Many Personalities of Howard Berger

First there is this one:

““An insatiable willingness to accept whatever garbage is tossed your way each year lines the pockets of the executives you purportedly “hate” [I see that word a lot in my e-mails]. No form of indignity is powerful enough to dissuade you from the uncontrollable love of your Blue & White. You bitch… and moan… and go insane over the always-accurate appraisals of the team in the media. Depending on the hour of day, you either castigate or lionize members of the hockey club — often the same player. The familiar disappointment of missing the playoffs on April 8th is washed away with delusional fantasies by April 9th. And, always, you are there to buy every ticket; purchase every jersey; watch every game on TV; lose your mind over every word written and spoken about the team [the part I like best], and generally cradle the habit you have no power to temper, let alone break. You are, by any measure, the most easily placated fans in all of sport — rivaled only by the zombie-like baseball fanatics on the north side of Chicago.”

Then there is this one:

“The National Hockey League’s most loyal fans did themselves proud earlier tonight by properly and warmly recognizing the 13 years of excellence provided their favorite team by Mats Sundin. Though followers of the Maple Leafs can be finicky — owing to a lack of winning experience in recent decades — they understand the significance of the few players that have been difference makers in the years since 1967. And, that’s why I wasn’t at all surprised to witness a four-minute standing ovation for Sundin at the 6:22 mark of the first period here tonight. Take a bow, Leaf fans. That was all class.”

We are either idiots or we aren’t. Take your pick Howie.

Now Rosie reported that “and even old coots in the pressbox were sniffling.” last night. Now, who wants to bet that Berger, who has been seen openly cheering on the blue jays in the press box, welled up last night? You see we are inexperienced at winning, Berger is just plain inexperienced at reporting (there can’t be another excuse can there? Or is it that he just works cheap?).

Those who stood last night did the right thing. Assuming of course they did from their own hearts and brains and not those of the idiots who run the papers in this town who tried to shame them into doing the same.

The really good news is at Brian Burke’s phone has been ringing off the hook this am from agents whose players are impending FA’s. They heard about the Sundin game last night and were so moved, so impressed with the Leaf fans that they are all dying to come here now. If you are sensing a little bit of sarcasm it’s because I am laying it on pretty thick.

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